Part 38: EARTH-FILTH!!!
Part 38: EARTH-FILTH!!!
Never thought I’d see you in here.
Sometimes even a cyborg psychologist needs a drink. *sip* Long ago, when we first met, the Thin Man claimed to be holding a hostage dear to you. … mmm. And he was lying. See, my town was abducted while I was out. One of the first. My brother was there. We didn’t find him when we raided the Alien Base, so… he’s been dead for a while. … I’m not good at comforting people. It’s fine. I’ve mourned enough. That’s why I volunteered to become more than human.
Why do I have to watch these training videos? These things look fifty years old!
Thereabouts.
Cover, flanking, keep your head down, ugghh! I know all this, I just want to kill more aliens! Sorry, procedure. And you’re irreplaceable, which means I don’t want you to get your head blown off, which means we go through all the boring basics. Can’t you just install regeneration mods in me like Watkins?
Cam’s not indestructible. And I’ll have you know that fifty years ago there was another agent who had alien regeneration powers, and even he needed to know how to keep his head down.
(Boy, that takes me back…)
We’ll start taking volunteers for PSI testing soon. It will be rather uncomfortable, I’m sad to say; you’ll be locked in a tiny human-sized chamber as your entire nervous system is probed and “enkindled” to generate the effects we’ve seen coming from the sectoids. For about ten days straight. Oh, GOD! No, I’ve had enough of that! Let someone else get the needles stuck in their brain! You already know I’m psychic.
*sigh* Fine. I’ll do it. Might as well, right? My body’s an insane cocktail of spliced DNA, may as well mess with the only part of me that hasn’t been mutated! Not every person will be capable of supporting the psionic effects. Perhaps one in ten. We’ll want to get everyone tested eventually.
Cam, you’re our most valuable soldier. You are too expensive for us to allow you to die. So we’re giving you that secondary heart upgrade. Unless you completely run out of blood, you’ll be able to recover from almost anything. Wow. Heh. That’s flattering. And since Latisha seems like she’s determined to keep putting herself at risk, we’re giving her regeneration genes.
WOO! Heh, heh, keeping indestructibility in the family.
Can I get some bioelectric skin while we’re at it? We all hate seekers and we need someone besides Leroy who can detect ‘em. …good idea! Approved.
Now, to move onto studying the properties of this strange “Elerium” material… we may find better uses for it we haven’t thought of yet.
With the new Satellite Nexus finished, we should have enough processing power to cover at least five more major countries. That will be enough to lock down all but one continent in the future. And then we’ll just have to worry about shooting down UFOs instead of responding to abductions…
Commander, we’ve got a strange request from Japan. They want Muton corpses. I already sold a bunch to the Grey Market! Damn it. Then we just need to make more corpses next mission.
Hmm, interesting… More tougher types of aliens could still appear. I’m ordering that the Arc Throwers get upgraded immediately. Meanwhile, Vahlen, could you figure out how the hell their UFOs actually fly? If we could make our own… Ooh, good idea! If she manages to figure out the basic propulsion, I could easily adapt a SHIV to fly as well.
Lab’s done! Who’s our first volunteer? *sigh* Let’s do this.
I’ll go too. We have enough other soldiers to cover for me out there.
Don’t go crazy in there, okay, Cam? *hug*
Yeah. Same to you, Monique.
Now, son, I need you to understand one thing since you have the ability to see through invisibility. You better not let a single tentacle touch Hilda, you hear? Dad, seriously, I’ll be fine. Superpowers make family conversations so weird…
More abductions! Shit. Let’s send out our troops. Mostly our B-Team, plus Queen to keep everyone safe from a distance, and Annette, to get her trained up. I’m wearing additional armor plating made from Chrysalid chitin! Haha. No more getting sent to the damn hospital for ME!
Mrs. Watkins, may I ask you something while we’re all waiting? What is it? Well, um… *whisper whisper* … Oh! Oh. Ohhhh. Heh. Yeah. Sure. Go for it, girl.
What was that all about? You’re a psychic, you tell me. Focus! We’re here! Keep an eye out for aliens!
Right! Time to put on my war face! GRRRRRRRRR! (oh, god…)
Why do the aliens like abducting from highways? Highways are full of people, plus it jams up traffic in both directions for miles. That makes it hard for authorities to respond unless they have a helicopter or a VTOL, like us. Now, you guys scout ahead, I’ll snipe anything you see.
CYBERDISC WITH DRONES! I hate those things! Queen, hit it with your disabling bullet so it doesn’t burn our asses off!
Here they come!
Right, EMP Dart away! SHIT! Don’t shoot so close to me! You’re fine.
One drone down!
Even with Vital-Point Targeting this damn thing is taking too many hits. *huff huff* Still not there yet… take out the other drone!
Oh, I’ll do it. I’ll do it!
Yeah! Combat high, GO! The disc is retreating. Push up!
Mutons! I’ll activate the translator program.
EARTH-FILTH!
ALL WHO DARE OPPOSE US HAVE BECOME PART OF OUR ARMY. YOU SHALL BECOME OUR SHOES! WE WILL LICK THE BLOOD OF YOUR FALLEN OFF OUR BOOTS AND MAKE TROPHIES OF YOUR BROKEN, BURNED ARMOR! YOUR DESCENDANTS — *beep!* On second thought, I think we’ve heard enough of that.
Actions speak louder than words, anyway. Ha, they felt that!
I’ve got eyes on the disc. Whew, this’ll be the longest shot I’ve ever made… but I’ve got it.
Exhale… and squeeze…
Yeah!
Two left.
Flashbanging the other two! They won’t be able to hit shit, finish them off!
Here goes! DIE YOU PIGS! THIS IS FOR MY MOTHER!
… hhhaaaaaaaaRRRRRRR! Sorry, girl. NOBODY KILL THAT THING UNTIL I DO!
Mechtoid and Sectoid escort incoming. I’ve got HEAT ammo, but that won’t be enough on its own.
Annette, if you’re going to do something, do it fast! The other Muton’s got me pinned down!
Not anymore it doesn’t. Rhino, distract the Mectoid’s overwatch fire. Get in close and blast it along with whatever Zhang can help you with! Grrr…
I hate these goddamn things!
GOT IT! Hahahahahahahahahaha! Well, now you’re exposed, you idiot!
Here, this’ll keep you from getting your face blown off.
I’m hit! Alicia, are you okay?! Rrr. RAH! Vahlen, shut off my pain inhibitors! What? This is madness! DO IT!
AAAAH! There. Now I can feel the combat high pheromones from Rhino. Alicia? Rhino, sprint past it and blast the sectoid giving it a shield. Then I’ll punch this goddamn cyborg’s fucking face in! RRRAAAH!
Ha. Back when I was old I would have said this is the stupidest plan ever, buuuttt…
Here goes!
Shield’s down, go for it!
Take THAT!
*punch!* *punch!* *punch!* You came to Earth, NOW EAT THE EARTH! EAT IT! EAT IT!
RAAAG! Haaah… haaahh… Perfect.
Dr. Gomez… I, uh… let me patch you up… Haaah… Yesss… You see, Annette, you’re not the only one out for revenge here. But you need to control when and where you lose your temper. Focus your fury into a single point and release it. Now, Dr. Vahlen, please turn my pain inhibitors back on. Uh, yes… Aaaaahhhhhh… better than vicodin.
Guys, I can see seekers up ahead, but they’ll vanish once I get close! No problemo, I’ve got bioelectric skin now. They won’t be able to hide from us. I’ll get ‘em!
So, you squirmy bastards like crushing my kid, huh? Well, who’s laughing now?
One more, look for it!
Aha!
All done! And we all learned a valuable lesson today! Yeah…
“Bioelectric Skin is awesome!” I thought it was about controlling anger… I thought the lesson was that sometimes the best plan is the stupidest one. I was more going for “empathy gives us solidarity…” I learned that having psychic powers doesn’t mean you can actually hit anything. I learned you’re all a bunch of fools, but I like you, anyway.
And so… the month of June… has concluded. The XCOM Project’s funding… shall increase. I hope Cam and Monique are dreaming good dreams. It’ll be another week before they’re out of that tester thing…To Be Continued!